Planning adventures, hygge DIYs and a lip scrub recipe.
Also, the quote Gandhi stole from my mum.
Hello, it’s great to
see you here!
Editor – Phoebe Tully
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I’ve been thinking this week about that idea of being the change you wish to see in the world.
(It’s a quote generally attributed to Gandhi, but I think he stole it from my mum.) Sometimes it’s overwhelming to become the change you want to see in the world. I think it needs to be enough sometimes to be the change you want in your own life.
I have had “If You Want Gardens, Become The Gardener”, a beautiful poem by Victoria Erickson, saved in my files for years because it captures this idea so beautifully:
“If you inherently long for something, become it first. If you want gardens, become the gardener. If you want love, embody love. If you want mental stimulation, change the conversation. If you want peace, exude calmness. If you want to fill your world with artists, begin to paint. If you want to be valued, respect your own time. If you want to live ecstatically, find the ecstasy within yourself.
This is how to draw it in, day by day, inch by inch.”
Become it first. Draw your dream life in, inch by inch. Here, as always, are some ideas on how to do just that.
Planning for memories.
Languishing. Floundering. Drifting. You know those feelings that don’t necessarily feel negative, but are just meh. I guess in many ways, that’s what The Small Things is about: warding off the doldrums of malaise.
But why does a weekend cooking project or hand-washing your delicates slightly improve your life (at least, according to me!)? The psychologist and memory researcher Lila Davachi explained in her TED talk:
“In an environment with a lot of variety and change, you’re forming far more memory units than in an environment with very little change. It’s … the number of these units that determine our estimates of time later on. More units, more to remember, and time expands.”
To this end, Lila says that “time is memory” and that the ambition to lead a full life means not having more time, but having more memories. And unlike the quest for more time, making more memories is something we can control.
I recently stumbled on a podcast interview with Laura Vanderkam where she explored why some days/months/years just blend into one another – and her solution is also to make your weeks more memorable.
I first came across Laura through her “What the Most Successful People Do” book series. One of my favourite takeaways from those books was the idea of having “anchor events” on the weekend – fun things to do at the five main blocks of a weekend. (I wrote more about that here.) In this podcast, Laura spoke about creating novelty by having one “big adventure” and one “small adventure” each week:
A big adventure takes about half a day – it’s something you’d do on the weekend, most likely, or after work. It’s going to a new exhibition, or for a drive somewhere, or spending a morning at a rock climbing gym.
A small adventure is something that takes about an hour – you could fit it into a lunch break. It’s going to a new café and meeting an old friend, or going for a neighbourhood walk after dinner, or listening to Bach’s B-Minor Mass on YouTube.
I’ve started to keep a note in my phone as I come up with ideas for small and big adventures. When I do my weekly review and planning, I try to find time slots where I can add these in. This is my way of starting to draw in all those things I want in life – art, food, travel, friends – “inch by inch”. Here’s to making life memorable, one week at a time.
Let me know in the comments what adventures you’re going to add to your list. The archives of this newsletter are full of ideas for big and small adventures if you’re looking for some inspiration!
DO | collate a group of plain beeswax candles ($$) in a thrifted brass tray ($) on your coffee table like this. Oh the hygge.
MAKE | a simple lip scrub for those winter-chapped lips. Combine 1 tsp of olive oil with 1 tsp of ground oats and gently apply to your lips in circular motions.
READ | The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
WATCH | A Single Man (2009)
LISTEN | Assouline’s Marrakech Flair playlist